A hug from Abby...my journey in making a quilt

Three years ago the world dropped out from below my daughters feet. She endured a loss that no child, no 13 year old should have to go through. Even as I write these words the weight in my chest feels the same as the day we found out Abby went to be with the Lord. My Paige had to say goodbye to her best friend, her person, her Abby. You can prepare your children for the loss of a beloved pet, a grandparent etc but preparation for a classmate, best friend; its just not something you think to prepare for. My daughters life was forever changed in that one moment. The family that loved Abigail Faith - lives were forever changed.

Words cannot express how devastatingly hard those first few days were for all of us. Watching the pain in my daughters eyes, her friends and teachers faces, the pain was simply unbearable. For my family it was hard but we weren't her parents, sisters, or extended family. As hard as it was for us I can't imagine going through the loss of a child or sister. My job was to hug, to hold, to comfort my baby and to lend support as I could. Weeks after Abby's death I sat with her parents and asked if I could have Abby's jean's to make them a quilt. Mind you I am not a quilter, I consider myself a seamstress. But the need to do something to help with their grief it was a task that I had to do. Abby was a jean's, t-shirt and hoodie girl; she loved comfort. As I left for home that day I had grand plans to have the quilt done by Christmas of that year. I wanted Abby's parents, her four sisters to be wrapped in Abby's love, in comfort, to have something to help with their grief.

What I wasn't prepared for was my own grief, the grief my daughter was experiencing. How every time I pulled out her jean's to cut, prep and sew that the pain and sadness was so overwhelming that I mentally and physically could not. Abby's jeans were full of pen marks, a doodle of a purple flower, paint, grass stains etc. They were full of a life lived, of a life cut too short. A life that meant so much to my Paige, the sight of the project would bring her to tears.

Joy comes in the morning

Memories would flood in of Abby and her identical twin sister Aislinn yelling across their school campus "Hi Mom!" to me, Of the awesome twin hugs I would receive from time to time. I would be brought to my knees with sadness. And so the project I expected to take just a few months took me almost 3 years to complete.

Creating Abby's quilt was a journey one that I am so grateful for. The quilt is filled with imperfections; lines don't meet up evenly, squares are a bit un-squarish. But isn't that how life is? Perfectly-Imperfect. I used every single scrap of fabric, nothing went to waste. Eventually sewing her quilt became easier, it inspired conversation of wonderful memories that Paige and Aislinn would share with me. The sadness began to be replaced with Joy, joy of the gift that I would be able to provide. I began to realize how much of a gift Abby was in life and the gifts she continues to bestow especially to my Paige. My intense grief lent itself to inspiration and a renewed sense of appreciation for those who continued to support us. And in the end...I completed not one but two quilts (Abby loved jeans!). One quilt for dad that was inspired by Abby's Captain America Tshirt and one quilt for mom with favorite colors and fabrics.

I wasn't able to gift the quilts to her family on Christmas but rather just this April during the Covid-19 pandemic. It was the gift the family needed to help them through these difficult times. And at the same time the gift I needed to give at this time; the gift Paige needed to help give. I am thankful that the Lord provided me with the talent of sewing. It allowed me to process loss in a way I had not expected and provide support in an unexpected way.

Quilt delivery day

I am thankful for the friendship that has blossomed through this time of hardship. Paige and Aislinn have formed a bond that is unbreakable. I can see in their eyes paths of greatness because of the difficulties they have faced. The broken 13/14 year old girls are growing up into beautiful women who are paving a way of greatness, kindness and helping humanity with their everyday life. They may not see it, but those of us around them can see how Abby has given that gift of perseverance to them.

I know that Abby is watching over us all. She is with us when we belt out musicals in the car. She is with Paige when she reads a favorite book, watches their favorite shows and listens to their favorite music. Abby is there in Sherlock, Captain America, Twenty-One Pilots, Dan & Phil...whenever we see a purple heart. She remains in the hearts of her family, those who loved her fiercely. A family we too have come to love fiercely.

She is there in the quilts, providing comfort and love...a hug from Abby.